I don't know what you're getting at...

ala_bootykins @ 2009-06-21T03:36:00

2009-06-21T07:37:25Z

Minnesota in T-minus 13 hours.

Get ready.

This has all been very last minute and I know that I'm not.

Supercalifragilisticshutthefuckup

2009-06-04T03:57:06Z

Teenagers are little stinkers.
That is all.

finaaaallllllllllllz.

2009-04-30T03:56:39Z

I can't believe this week is already here.
Surprisingly, I hyped myself up so much that I actually just finished the shit that I thought was going to keep me up all night. I still have to get up mega early, but this is greatly preferable.

So what's new...
I got a job. Singing country. On a cruise ship.
it's ok to judge me. I'm judging myself.
It is going to be so funny. What a great story to look back on.
And I'm going to be in Rome for the entire month of July. Which is thrilling! Hopefully I'll be able to sing by then... I keep losing my voice. Don't want to talk about it.

I befriended this awesome Irish bartender last night. I'm serious. I want him to be my best friend. He gave us like three free shots.
Drinking on Tuesday was definitely not a plan but it worked out.

belligerent drunk speak

2009-04-19T16:53:30Z

I feel like I'm reaching an age where I have to make responsible choices. Like a lot more than I have been.

Growing up sucks.
I want to grow down.

nanopeen

2009-03-21T07:43:34Z

Just got back from Montreal spring break 2009.

It was so fucking great. Go to Montreal if you get a chance. There were some communication issues but nothing too horrendous. I kissed a Montreal boy and it was good. The sights were cool and so were the museums. And downtown was like a less crazy NYC.

I just got off the phone with my extremely drunk friend, trying to talk her down from a seriously desperate hook-up idea.
Peabody is so barren and sad in the category of attractive dudes.
But I love it in this funny way.
Actually many funny ways.

Spilled hot honey water on my macbook a couple weeks ago. Thus my isolation from the internet world. But I should be getting my new comp on monday. No more mac, oh no. That's expensive shit. This will be something more practical.

Life is kind of grand, but also confusing.

Why does Christian Bale have to be such an asshole

2009-02-04T02:48:21Z

If you haven't heard that clip of him screaming at his cinematographer, don't. It's actually hard to listen to.
God, I hate assholes. That kind of asshole, anyway.

I am so so po. Like to the point where I shouldn't be going out ever. But I still do. Because I have no common sense.
I also lost my peacoat today at school. I don't even understand how that's possible as I checked everywhere it could have been. Somehow I make the impossible possible, yet again.

I also learned this week to never be nice to drunk guys.
End.

Lights! Camera! Baltimore?

2009-01-16T21:20:41Z

What the hell is wrong with me and when did I start liking Baltimore?
Because I do. Suddenly.
Weird.

It's the French influence

2008-12-08T00:32:19Z

Sometimes I am just amazed at how unproductive I can be.
I even made a "to do" list.
But I had a glass of wine with my dinner and am feeling kind of buzzed. So obviously now I just want to shit around.
Did you know that inside of box wine is a bag of wine? I guess that is pretty obvious but for some reason it was news to me. And I have one such bag sitting in my refrigerator. It's great. I keep saying it looks like a bag of piss. Well, it's true.

Oh what elllssse
In the past two weeks I've gone from completely contemplating dropping out of Peabody to remembering why this is what the fuck i want to do. That's a pretty nice place to be. Hope it lasts.

Sexy presidents.

That is all.

Wieners

2008-10-23T02:22:47Z

So I had headshots taken today. I took off my nose ring out for them and forgot until several hours later... At which time I could not get the ring back in as the hole had closed up. After a fucking year and half.
I didn't give up that easily.
I was in the bathroom at work for a half an hour but I came out with a pierced nose, albeit a little bloody and painful. I'm weirdly proud of myself.

In other news...
Cockkss
My friend James works for Rockstar energy drinks (he basically gives them out and then takes pictures of people drinking it and sends it to this site) and he gave us a bunch. and I'm addicted already. Though it gives me headaches.
My roommate likes stupid movies (Michael Douglass' The Game comes to mind) and can't stand any of mine. But that's okay. Because he doesn't have any DVDs
Motherlickers

I'm not on drugs though I probably sound like I am

On having two homes

2008-08-11T16:31:17Z

I'm leaving tomorrow.

It's weird. I feel sad, which makes me lethargic, which makes packing take a lot longer.

After a week of anguish...

2008-08-06T04:27:37Z

We got the apartment! And therefore have a place to live.
Heavenly, heavenly.

Now we just have about 29484593948200 more issues to deal with and things to buy when we get to Baltimore.
But oh baby, that was the worst of my worries. I feel fucking great.

This school year is gonna mean big things
Ohhh baby

I don't much care for couches

2008-08-02T16:55:19Z

I WANT A PLACE TO LIVE.
DAMMIT.
DAMMIT.
DAMMIT.

And clean up your pubes!

Oh my God I'm obsessed

2008-07-31T05:38:53Z

So since my apartment for next year fell through, I've been looking for a new place to live.
And I can't stop looking at this one. <http://www.midtownclassics.com./madison.htm>,-->211, unit 4
It's just so perfect. I don't know why I feel so strongly about it.
I WANT it.

Kay.
Creeping outside of Starbucks while a couple of middle aged people on a date flirt and eventually say goodnight is my new favorite pastime.
Oh, that and not getting towed. That's up there too.
What a day. It feels more like three.

Loop-di-loop through the hoop

2008-07-10T15:57:43Z

I feel like I'm losing my mind.

Jumble Jangle

2008-06-30T05:21:27Z

The time has come to start reading again.
Like, really reading. Putting time aside and not allowing myself to get distracted.
I want to learn. And I don't want to just have a fucking million books that I haven't read.
Ready, set, go.

My parents think I'm still sixteen. Or something.

In other news, Wall-E is so so so so so cute.

money money money

2008-06-21T02:17:55Z

I'm employed!
Heeell yeah

Not that this will change anything

2008-06-17T04:47:07Z

Dear Flake,
Get yourself together, girl, and don't be a coconut.
Love,
the Creep

Why can't I get just one screw?

2008-06-14T09:27:47Z

I love the Violent Femmes right now. Like a little too much? Is that possible?
And I'm totally the creepy older person at parties right now. I need to get this under control.
Ph oh! also. Is it just me or has Brad Pitt begun to look pretty rough?
End.

Do you really want to know?

2008-06-09T07:30:04Z

I'm cleansing my colon. I have to take five different kinds of pills throughout the day and a fiber supplement every morning, which sucks, because I have to plan my meals around it. I wake up earlier and more easily already, and I've only been doing it for three and a half days. It's gross though. If you want to know why... I'm not going to explain it. Google Colonix. It'll change your life.

I'm kind of upset and happy at the same time. Upset because things are a little different at home than they used to be... But also happy, because some of this change is good and I feel like I'm growing up and moving on and other people are too, which is kind of beautiful to watch.

Why is smoking cigarettes so bad and so good? I'm fucking up my voice and I know it and I worry about it yet I still jump at the chance to puff on a fucking cigarette.
Self-destruction at its finest.

Another thing is, I'm not so afraid of being self-destructive. I think that life is all about cycles, you know, things start and things end. Destruction is part of the ebb and flow of the world. If everything was creation, there would just be too much. And so in a way I'm thankful for these bad tendencies I have. They keep me in place, in the grand scheme of everything.

My body is yearning to do yoga. Yearning, yearning.

There is so much to do. I want it all.

Newsflash:

2008-05-19T19:56:40Z

Minnesota is cold. And my room is probably the coldest part of the house. Which makes it increasingly hard to drag myself out of bed.

I also have a question. Why do people call me in the morning, of all times? ... And then ask me if I've changed my number because they called me while I was asleep? Seriously. Let's be realistic. I refuse to get up before 12:30 unless I'll be making money for it. Or getting college credit.

Today is the sort of day that should be spent entirely indoors. It's cold and overcast and nasty. I'm thinking maybe it's a good movie day. I really want to see Iron Man... so if anyone else is up for it, we should totally have an event.

Did I mention Minnesota is fucking cold?

Lick this

2008-03-05T16:57:56Z

Yeah, so things are better now.
I did my audition. It was, surprisingly, not very stressful. I spent eight hours on a bus on Monday, but the audition was okay. I couldn't really hear myself in the hall, and I don't know if I answered the questions the way they wanted me to, but it was a relief just to have it over and done with. Manhattan is the best place in the universe for people-watching. Seriously... Then I got back and just slept and slept and slept. My voice came back! That was key.

Everyone is obsessed with finding an apartment right now, and I'm just hoping to God that I can stay here to see it actually happen. I can't wait to live in a place where stupid drama isn't happening constantly... Someone is always mad about something, everyone knows everything about everyone, and because it's such a small school, if you do happen to say anything about anyone, they likely will be walking around the corner at that exact moment. It's ridiculous.

Evelyn Lear talked to the voice department yesterday, and it was really fascinating. I felt inspired as I listened to her. I wrote down her three main pieces of advice for young singers, but they sound better in French:
La conviction que je peux
Le feu dans l'estomac
J'ai la peau d'elephant

Tell me tell me tell me

2008-02-29T16:17:28Z

I'm just fucking pissed off (again), and it pisses me off even more that I actually don't have a good enough reason to be as angry as I am. Last night I started crying when I was talking about my parents and I don't know why. And I'm just on the edge right now with everything that I have had to do this week and will have to do in next few days. I finally sent in my financial aid stuff to Manhattan this morning and still don't feel relief. I have to go to New York on Monday and I'll be there for about two hours (long enough to change clothes and warm up and do my audition) and then I have to take the bus (five hours) back immediately so that I can be back at school for a choir concert Tuesday night. It's just too much.

So basically, I need a big sign that says "(Please) Don't Push Me." Because I am on the fucking brink of insanity.

Oh, and I lost my voice and I also think I'm getting sick.
And I have to make a recording.
And I can't practice.

Suck my cock, life.

You know?

2008-01-31T05:46:43Z

I'm allowed to be irrationally mad sometimes. I can't explain it. And if people think I'm overreacting, it's because I am. But though I'm conscious of that fact, it's not going to change anything. I'm going to get mad when I get mad.

Oh, and cafeteria food is going to kill me.

Recollection

2008-01-03T09:30:45Z

Rocket Girl had seen some strange shit before, but nothing like this. This mind-blowing, unnerving dream sequence in which nothing and everything was relevant. These flashing images that brought suppressed thoughts to the surface, that made her forget her conscious ones.

She opened her eyes. They were sore, as if they'd been exercising in her sleep. She let her eyelids droop again and tried to put the images back together, but it was too late. They were buried deeper than sense.

Fuck everyone, it's my birthday

2007-12-20T03:03:18Z

I'm here! I'm here! I'm here!
And 20! And 20! And 20!

Is there an echo in here, or is that just my lame sense of humor?
Yeah, it's just me.